I’m just about to head off to Ikea (because I’m lame), and I hopped on the internet and ran across this. Ikea Dick in a Box assembly instructions. Hilarious.
I’m just about to head off to Ikea (because I’m lame), and I hopped on the internet and ran across this. Ikea Dick in a Box assembly instructions. Hilarious.
I decided to go to Subway for lunch today, even though I ate there yesterday and the last time I ate at Subway regularly, I gained almost 30 pounds. Jared, you lie through your fat fucking teeth. Anyway, my personal sandwich artist just got done putting the final touches on my sandwich when I noticed that my wallet did not contain my debit card. We’ve all had this happen, haven’t we? You realize your card is missing, and you mentally picture some crackheads using it to buy big screen TV’s, which they then pawn and use the resulting cash to buy crack and hookers with. And the worst part is that it’s your money and you don’t get the TV, the crack, or the hookers. Bullshit.
Continue readingI was sitting at home the other day reading Rolling Stone, because when you have three kids you will engage in any activity that makes you even remotely cool or trendy. Unfortunately, reading a magazine ranks right below flagpole-sitting and barbershop quartets on the cool and trendy scale. I’m sure my kids see me doing this kind of thing and think to themselves, “What’s next? A handlebar mustache?” (Note to self: Yes!)
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