Ok, look, I don’t want to alarm anyone or anything, but recent developments have made it clear to anyone who hasn’t been drinking varnish that we are all doomed. First it was robotic sparrows, then it was cinder block throwing robo-mules and internet-assisted evil rat brains. Now we’ve got tadpoles that see out of their asses. Science has officially run amok, and it is obvious that if we want to survive as a species we must learn to burrow deep underground like the mole-people. We also need to start fucking like rabbits on Viagra, although some of us have gotten off to a head start in this regard (*cough* Tara Reid *cough*). Continue reading