Corporate holiday parties. Holy shit, do those things fucking blow. I’m not talking about the small company get together at someone’s house. Those can be fun, provided the host is an easy going sort and likes to drink. (But have one of those hosted by a strict non-drinker or someone who sells Amway on the side and you may as well slit your wrists with one of the plastic, serrated knives by the appetizers because if your life isn’t over now, you’ll wish it was by the time the party is done.) No, I’m talking about the Corporate holiday party that was scheduled when the bi-quarterly employee satisfaction survey indicated a 0.3% drop in employee morale, and the committee that was formed in response decided to punish everyone who lowered the corporate morale score by forcing them to attend the lamest fucking party of all time. Continue reading