All The World?
Notorious cut-up and Official Dogs On Drugs Hall of Fame Commenter B’Homey brought the following video to my attention the other day, and I can honestly say that my life was woefully incomplete until I saw this.
The best part about this video is imagining the totally coked up person who wrote the script explain his idea to an actual human being:
Writer: Ok, so Charles Bronson watches a guy play piano for a while, right?
Man-Dom Executive: Ok, like he’s in a bar?
Writer: No! It’s just him and some guy playing piano. But it’s not a gay thing.
Man-Dom Executive: Well, it’d be ok if it was. We are selling a product called Man-Dom.
Writer: Charles Bronson IS NOT GAY!
Man-Dom Executive: Ok, ok. Then what?
Writer: He has a moment with a doorman.
Man-Dom Executive: A moment?
Writer: Yeah, like they’re old friends. Bronson gets in his car and hauls ass home, like at 140 mph.
Man-Dom Executive: What?
Writer: Yeah, he’s like fucking stoked to go home and put on some Man-Dom.
Man-Dom Executive: Wouldn’t he do that before he went out?
Writer: No! Charles Bronson doesn’t need to impress anyone! He just uses Man-Dom to wind down.
Man-Dom Executive: Uh, ok.
Writer: So he gets home, and he’s got this ultra-swank apartment, right? Because he’s Charles Fucking Bronson.
Man-Dom Executive: Ok.
Writer: He grabs a pipe and then hurls his shirt 40 feet into the air.
Man-Dom Executive: Wait, what?
Writer: Yeah, and then he sprinkles on like five gallons of Man-Dom while he’s having flashbacks about shooting a bunch of people.
Man-Dom Executive: Hey, wait a minute…
Writer: Shut the fuck up, I’m on a roll here. Then, after he puts on all this Man-Dom, he kicks back in a chair, smokes a pipe-full of crystal meth, and like, jerks it for an hour.
Man-Dom Executive: You’re fired.
Writer: Too late. This commercial has already been running for a week.
The inspiration for Lost in Translation: “Lip my stocking, Mr. Bob Harris!”
Bill Murray should remake this commercial. It would be equally funny.
Holy shit. And I thought the commercial with Joe Namath wearing pantyhose was telling, but even the most flamboyant of my gay male friends have never pirouetted in the air while removing a shirt.
No wonder Bronson was so angry. Closeted and a vigilante. its a wonder he wasn’t making mail-bombs in Montana somewhere.
But his shirt-pirouette wasn’t gay because he was smoking a pipe. That’s totally a rule.
Why the fuck was the valet so damned happy? That’s what’ll haunt my dreams.
He was so very stoned.
“Sleep tight! Hahaha!!!”
Yeah, hilarious, hippie.
Then I’ll have what he was fucking having, please.
(meet me out back in ten minutes)
That Mr Bronson probably doesn’t even know he’s in an advert
Whoah, wait a minute. This is a commercial? I thought it was security cam footage!
Oh, I loved the video, then the dialogue hit me like a ton of fucking hilarity. Awesome job.
I thought you crazy Canucks used tonnes.
Mandom, holy shit 😀 I can’t stop laughing now.
Out of curiosity, what does it take to get on the commenter HOF? 😀
Oh, I dunno usually it’s a quid pro quo kinda thing with cross-site commenting. And I have to remember to do it, which seems to be an issue with me.
The horse whinny really did it for me. Made me assume ManDom doubles as giant dong lubricant.
You have just tripled their annual sales with that one comment.