Coming Soon! Dogs On Drugs: The Movie

Finally, after an exhaustive search, I’ve found the perfect production company to take on my ambitious idea: To make the Dogs on Drugs movie! I still have a few niggling details to work out; Peter Cetera and Kenny Loggins’ people are holding out for more money (I think – How much does “all the tea in China” cost, anyway?) and Steven Spielberg reacted very negatively when I told him that I basically planned to “punch up” the script for Schindler’s List (seriously, that was like the worst comedy I’ve ever seen. WTF?) But I’m sure those are all problems that can be overcome with a new round of funding or, barring that, the judicious application of mind-altering drugs. The important takeaway here is that I’ve finally found my production team: The people with the technical savvy to pull this thing off.

I am really fucking excited!