How Starbucks Got Started
Ladies, please stop being so selfish. Oh, sure, a career sounds like a fun thing to have and all, but where does it lead you? Well, I’ll tell you where: It leads to a land where braless lesbians roam the countryside wearing pants teaching the odd Womyn’s Herstory class, while us hard working gents sit at home dealing with lousy fucking coffee.
Or so TV from the black and white era would have you believe. Get a load of this hilarious set of clips from the Misogyny Coffee Company. Misogyny Coffee: Real men take it black, like their wives’ eyes. (Oh, also, pay attention to the guy at the 40 second mark, who was probably voted Most Likely To Have His Finger Broken Off And Jammed Up His Own Ass.)
“Yes dear, the coffee crops I planted, grew, and harvested myself were not as tasty this year on account of all the time I spend every morning pulling your head out of your asshole. Lol!”
(Waves finger in face, insinuates that you murder people)
I’m not sure if this is supposed to make me feel good or bad about making a sandwich for my husband yesterday.
If you made you husband a sandwich, that’s an undeniable good, Nico. Give yourself a pat on the back. And a sandwich.
I asked him how he liked it (he’d taken it to work for lunch) and he was like, “that was a fantastic sandwich! man alive!” so I guess I’m hired.
It was toasted whole grain bread, thin-sliced sharp cheddar, baby spinach leaves, heaps of peppery roast beef, a little turkey and dried oregano.
I love sandwiches, they’re the perfect food, so versatile and portable. Fried bologna with mustard on white toast, bologna and cheese with mayo, cheese and lettuce with mayo and pickles, roast beef & Italian hoagies, grilled cheese with tomato, turkey and Cooper sharp cheese on wheat with spicy mustard. Hard salami and Butterkäse German cheese on Jewish rye. On and on. Sandwiches.
I haven’t even gotten into what can be put on a bagel.
I need to be able to allow people to post comments AND sandwiches on this site. WordPress, where the fuck are you with this plugin?
No kidding. That made me hungry…
I think Nico is a Siren.