I’m super-hella-busy* right now, so instead of spending the next 45 minutes rehashing a bunch of tired old dick-jokes, I’ll take this time instead to introduce our new sponsor, Funeraria Lopez.

Are you Hispanic? Are you looking for a coffin to store your spare hot chicks? Or are you perhaps looking to ruin future Christmases with a funeral so freaky and upsetting that your children will pray for Santa to pass them by this year? Then you need to call Funeraria Lopez right fucking NOW, muchacho! They actually don’t have phone service, but if you see a lion with a camcorder he’ll tell you where to go.

*Yes, I used the “word” hella. This is because I am “hip to the jive”, “22-skiddoo”, and am planning on doing the Charleston later with my dog. I am so with it, it fucking hurts.