I decided to go to Subway for lunch today, even though I ate there yesterday and the last time I ate at Subway regularly, I gained almost 30 pounds. Jared, you lie through your fat fucking teeth.  Anyway, my personal sandwich artist just got done putting the final touches on my sandwich when I noticed that my wallet did not contain my debit card.  We’ve all had this happen, haven’t we?  You realize your card is missing, and you mentally picture some crackheads using it to buy big screen TV’s, which they then pawn and use the resulting cash to buy crack and hookers with.  And the worst part is that it’s your money and you don’t get the TV, the crack, or the hookers.  Bullshit.