The Week In Review
You know what’s wonderful about the internet? Any random weirdo can express their views. You can start a blog, or just comment on other people’s web pages. You can upload a video of yourself to YouTube or, if you’re feeling rather saucy, have total strangers violate every orifice in your body for an hour and post that online. Or you can self-publish a book on Amazon, such as the following literary masterpiece, Birth Control is Sinful in the Christian Marriages and also Robbing God of Priesthood Children. Yes, that’s a real book, with real words in it and everything, although it’s hard to consider the words effective when they’re IN ALL UPPERCASE AND ARRANGED NEARLY SENSE NONE WITH:> PUNCTUATION ; RANDOM!!!
Let’s look at one of the more particularly sane quotes, shall we?
BECAUSE OF COMPUTER DICTATORS: MANY WORDS IN THIS BOOK: MADE HAVE BEEN CHANGED: TO>>DISCREDIT: THE AUTHOR. BUT IN TRUTH: I AM A HOLYSPIRIT CHOSEN ANOINTED DISCIPLE FOR GOD & CHRIST JESUS. EVEN FOR JEWS, MUSLIMS & GENTILE SINNERS.
Fucking computer dictators, always changing words to discredit people and shit. I think it is clear that everyone should go to Amazon.com and buy this book for the low, low price of… What the fuck? $130.98? Yeah, you know what? The computer dictators are right. This bitch is fucking nuts.
On to the week you missed locked up in that trunk in the basement while guys in beards called you “the Gimp”:
- On Monday, we learned that “Champ got knocked out tonight” as well as what Donkey Kong would look like if he was a miniature weirdo on speed.
- On Tuesday, I had nothing to say so instead I taught impressionable teens how to smuggle cocaine over the border using parakeets and their rectum. You’re welcome.
- Wednesday found me preaching against giving kids what they want for their birthday because kids are fucking morons. I mean, if they’re so smart how come I have to buy beer for them? Why can’t they figure that shit out for themselves?
- And on Thursday we learned that Subway’s Jared got fat while renting porn which may explain why it’s so hard to get napkins there. Ewwwww, gross.
Be strong, hug your loved ones, pray to Tangata-Manu and we’ll all get through this week together people.