Archive for the ‘Week In Review’ Category

The Week In Review

Oh, yeah, baby!

I don’t fly very often, mostly because I work in IT and I don’t have to fly all the way across the country to interact with a customer. Thanks to the magic of the internet I can tell that customer that he has no idea how technology works and how much of a fucking idiot […]

The Week In Review

Also in this series, The Berenstain Bears Wonder What Mom's Fucking Problem Is

My boys are going to grow up thinking that Jan and Stan Berenstain were some really twisted motherfuckers. In order to counteract the nonstop stream of high-def candy and toy commercials that masquerade as children’s entertainment these days, I read them a book before bedtime. My kids feel that this is a rather quaint activity, […]

The Week In Review

Jesus, it smells awful in here...

There are seven billion people on our planet. That’s a fuckton of people. A lot of people will tell you that it’s too many people, but I don’t see these folks throwing themselves under a train or anything. They want to complain about the problem, they just don’t want to do anything about it. As […]

The Week In Review

Not pictured: Aching muscles.

I climbed a mountain yesterday. Seriously. Had you told me twenty years ago that I would climb a mountain, my twenty-something year old self would have asked you if they were giving away free drugs at the top. Unfortunately, they weren’t, because I could have used them today. My arms and legs feel like someone […]

The Week In Review

Seriously, you could have some kick-ass paintball wars in here.

I went to the Phoenix Art Museum this weekend, and for a place that has so many paintings of nudes they’re surprisingly uptight about people showing up without clothes on. They also don’t let you play paintball inside. Hey, Phoenix Art Museum: You know why you have to resort to private donations to stay open? […]

The Week In Review

Last week I selflessly ran the very real risk of winning a Pulitzer Prize when I blew the lid off of the robotics industry’s secret plan to enslave us all with Robotic Death Sparrows. Because of this earth shattering story, several things happened: First of all, intelligent people from all walks of life began burrowing […]

The Week In Review

If vomiting was a circus act, I would've been a headliner when I was in college.

I took my kids to the circus this weekend. There are few things in life I hate as much as the circus, that gaudy, shucksterrific slice of Americana whose sole purpose is not to entertain, but to give gainful employment to pederast drifters and people who like to burn things. I look at the ringmaster, […]

The Week In Review

This looks like the Taj Mahal to my kids

I took my kids to the Museum of Natural History today, and with all of the dinosaur bones and other cool things in there, the one exhibit they liked the most was the jail. They had a replica of an 1800’s-era jail and my kids (especially the boys) were fascinated by it. A little too […]

The Week In Review

Business Cheese Ball delivery around back

You know what store I try to avoid? Office Max. Or Staples, same thing. It’s not that I don’t like office supply stores, it’s that I cannot go in one of them without justifying totally asinine purchases. If I don’t watch it, I’ll find myself in line with enough supplies to keep the IRS going […]

The Week In Review

The Yeti, aka Old Squatch

Is there anything worse than having a bad back? Of course there is. A rabid doberman could latch onto your junk, the Yeti could kidnap you and drag you back to his ice cave to become his concubine, or you could be stuck in a room with nothing but a TV permanently tuned to the […]

Powered by WordPress | Designed by: seo services | Thanks to seo company, web designer and internet marketing company
The fuck are you looking at?