I absolutely love this video. It is a five second clip of the world’s worst porn acting, looped for over five minutes. The young starlet harlot is supposed to deliver the lines, “Oh, would it be possible to drop me off near there? I live right near there. My roommate just dropped me off.” But either she’s a tad nervous, really anxious to get to the boots-knocking, or is actually an alien working undercover in the porn industry who is totally unfamiliar with human speech patterns.

Whatever the reason, the longer you let this run, the more surreal it gets. It’s a fucking trip. Remember in the movie Less Than Zero how there was a party in a home that had stacks of TV’s playing random channels? If I was throwing that party, every TV would be playing this at top volume, non-stop, until everyone went totally fucking insane.

So I hereby offer this challenge to my readers: Start your day off by watching this video in its entirety, all five minutes and nineteen seconds of it. You’ll be a better person for it. Or you’ll wind up fucking strangers for cash. Whatever. (For what it is worth, it is totally, 100% safe for work.)