Great Moments In Acting

I absolutely love this video. It is a five second clip of the world’s worst porn acting, looped for over five minutes. The young starlet harlot is supposed to deliver the lines, “Oh, would it be possible to drop me off near there? I live right near there. My roommate just dropped me off.” But either she’s a tad nervous, really anxious to get to the boots-knocking, or is actually an alien working undercover in the porn industry who is totally unfamiliar with human speech patterns.

Whatever the reason, the longer you let this run, the more surreal it gets. It’s a fucking trip. Remember in the movie Less Than Zero how there was a party in a home that had stacks of TV’s playing random channels? If I was throwing that party, every TV would be playing this at top volume, non-stop, until everyone went totally fucking insane.

So I hereby offer this challenge to my readers: Start your day off by watching this video in its entirety, all five minutes and nineteen seconds of it. You’ll be a better person for it. Or you’ll wind up fucking strangers for cash. Whatever. (For what it is worth, it is totally, 100% safe for work.)

19 Responses to “Great Moments In Acting”

  1. …and this was kept in the movie?

    Wow. Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

  2. Rusty says:

    They should have kept the bass underneath

    Because that would make it beat poetry…

  3. Lorca Damon says:

    OMG! That’s me! I can’t believe you have the nerve to put my acting debut on your blog for the whole world to laugh at! I’ll have you know I won an AWARD for that film (not for the acting, but for being able to suck four dicks at once. that was me. i invented that technique. because I’m an alien working undercover in the porn industry and my race can unhinge their jaws)

    • Greg says:

      You see, this is exactly why we’re sneaking a virus onto your mothership as we speak. Four dicks?!? Guys don’t even like to hug each other, let alone share an orifice simultaneously.

      Good to know about the unhinging of the jaws thing, though. It explains how Oprah can unhinge her jaws and eat a baked ham whole: She’s an alien!

      • brennan says:

        Bastard. As soon as I read that my brain made a video of Oprah eating an entire ham at once, and it’s looping like that damned video above.

  4. Vesta Vayne says:

    I only made it 39 seconds in, however, I blame Lorca (I scrolled down to read comments while it was playing).

    Four dicks at once? I always knew aliens were far superior to us lowly humans!

    • Greg says:

      That’s it? 39 seconds? C’mon, you can do better than that! Ok, roll call, everyone. Who has made it the entire length of the video? And be honest!

      • Vonny says:

        I read that as a challenge. Fuck you Greg. I watched the whole goddamn thing. At 2:54 my brain was in spasms of agony. At 4:20 I was sitting on my hands so I wouldn’t rip my speakers out and hurl them across the room. At 5:18…I found Jesus.

        Seriously, fuck you. And that brainless twat.

        • Greg says:

          Yes! That’s the spirit! See, everyone? Vonny did it, and Vonny is… well, not fine. But still alive, anyway! Plus, Jesus!

  5. Becky says:

    Wow…I could actually feel brain cells dying in agony.

  6. Heather says:

    Aw but she has such a sweet voice.

  7. brennan says:

    I only got about a minute in.

    I reckon the reason she mispronounces that is because her brain is already in performance mode. It’s probably what it would sound like with a mouth full of cock.

    She is cute though.

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