We’ve all heard stories of corrupt police. Whether they’re trading in illicit narcotics or using Rodney King as their own personal piñata, these criminals bring shame upon their profession by mocking the very laws they are sworn to uphold. Plus, they’re never corrupt in my favor. I mean, sure, 110 mph in a school zone is excessive. But is it too much to ask that you take the three bucks I offered to look the other way? Assholes. Continue reading

Due to a string of unfortunate events this weekend, I wound up watching Bridesmaids with my wife last night. That was two hours and twelve minutes of unfunny that seemed to last at least ten times that long. Holy crap, did I not like that movie. Every time something interesting or funny threatened to happen, women wound up drinking coffee and discussing their emotions. Towards the end, I found myself hoping that earthbound NASA satellite would plunge through the roof and take my head clean off. Continue reading