Return Of The King
A while back, I proclaimed myself King of Luxembourg (in exile). This evening, fortified by numerous malted beverages of Luxembourgian heritage, I strengthened my claim. (And yes, I really sent this to the Luxembourg embassy.)
Hi, as you can see from the attached link, I’m the King of Luxembourg (in exile). Please send me any and all products to which I am entitled.
Thanks!
King Greg
I’ll let you know when I move into the castle.
Hello your majesty,
May I humbly inquire to name of the malted beverages of Luxembourgian heritage you have been enjoying? I don’t think I have every had a brew from your great country.
May I also inquire on your thoughts on the non-exiled royal family of Luxembourg?
Ahhh, a royal subject. Good morning, sir. (Royal wave)
My comment about drinking Luxembourgian beverages was a classic case of artistic license, or as most other people call it, lying. (I was actually drinking Grolsch.) However, if I had the opportunity, I would certainly have been drinking Diekirch, a tasty beer from the commune/city of Diekirch Luxembourg. It is, regrettably, hard to come by in my home in exile, Arizona.
As for the Grand Ducal family, I am not overly familiar with them which is something I’m going to have to change considering the fact that they’re probably going to try to have me whacked. All indications are that they are a super-swell bunch of people, which makes the prospect of me putting them out of work mildly upsetting. (Not really)
Second Consul here, Your Majesty (in Exile).
Of course we have this same problem. i.e. the feudal Mandarins who now run Taiwan and consider themselves the true rulers of the rest of China (in Exile). Rest assured, we will deal with them appropriately. In fact, we already are. Their businessmen have lots of investments in our PRC (sigh). Frankly, Your Majesty, it’s really hard to maintain, you know, the fiction that we are a Communist country when we are basically what your GOP wants America to become except with evangelicals.
But that was not my main point, which is that brewskies got introduced to China during the European Occupation of China in the late 19th century, mainly the famous Tsingtao beer, which the Germans introduced and which is China’s most popular beer, by far. Germany is right next to Luxembourg, as you know. Tsingtao is a pilsner. Diekirch, as you know, since you are the King (in Exile), makes a German-style pilsener so that means Luxembourg and China have an identity.
So, our proposition is for you to front for us, the PRC, as the leader of the insurgent Luxembourgian “Fall Revolution” that will allow us to take over this little place and get a direct foothold in Europe.
Nothing personal; this is just business. It’s just payback for the, you know, late 19th century. We await your acceptance of this proposal.
Oh my gosh!
Yeah, they never got back to me. I’m totally gonna have them jailed when I take over.