When Stereotypes Are Funny

donuts

I’ll be the first person to tell you that if you judge people based on the color of their skin, you are a fucking scumbag and a much, much worse person than any of the people you believe you are superior to. Racism is evil, wrong, stupid, ignorant, and if there’s anything I hate more than a racist, it’s a Belgian.

Ha ha! Just kidding! I love making fun of Belgians because there is absolutely no reason to hate Belgians. They have a beautiful country, they’re friendly and polite beyond belief, and they love beer. What’s not to love? They’re so friendly and polite, in fact, that I fully expect to receive an email from someone in Belgium who read this, found it mildly distasteful, but felt that it would be impolite not to send me an email wishing me well.

Anyway, enough backtracking. You know what can be really funny? Stereotypes. Some stereotypes are hurtful and have no place in society. I won’t reprint any of them here, but the idea that someone’s skin color tells you anything about their intelligence or morals, for example, is beneath contempt. But some stereotypes are harmless enough, and when you see an over-the-top example of such a stereotype it can be quite funny. For instance, watch this video of civil rights activist Petey Greene and tell me that you didn’t smile at some point during the first two minutes.

What can I say? The man likes his watermelon.

You know what really made me laugh, though? That he got a bit paranoid about it at about the 2:45 mark:

“One white lady said to me, ‘I didn’t think you blacks eat watermelon like that no more’. I said, ‘Look, lady, don’t try to get out on me like that, you understand. You just want to eat the good part and want me to cut it all up.'”

I’ve heard of some fucked up, reprehensible racist behavior before, but I seriously doubt anyone ever invited a black person to a party for the specific reason that they wanted them to cut up watermelon for them.

10 Responses to “When Stereotypes Are Funny”

  1. Is it racist if the missus and I were at a buffet in Las Vegas, and we saw a big fat black woman stacking her plate at least 8 inches high with slab upon slab of watermelon? I mean, she was grabbing it like it was the last watermelon for miles. And the missus and I locked eyes, and we stifled an outburst of laughter that just exploded once we reached our table.

  2. Pish Posh says:

    First of all I will eat the motherfucking shit out of a watermelon. I don’t know what that says about my ancestry but that shit is good. I will jump into a watermelon face first and it will be party time. And that’s my bidness!

    Second of all I had to fast-forward to 2:45 because after 1minute I started to dry heave. I can’t stand watching people eat, chomp, slurp, argh! Gross! There’s really no way to eat watermelon, Doritos, cereal, or a deli sub with any grace whatsoever. Watching people lick their fingers after eating Doritos makes me want to beat them mercilessly. With a watermelon.

    • Greg says:

      Oh my God, at State Fairs and Renaissance Festivals down here, they sell turkey legs. And people eat them like fucking pigs, walking around with greasy smacking lips, and it freaks me out so badly I have to stay away from those places as much as possible or I will fucking kill them where they stand.

  3. Vesta Vayne says:

    I am with Pish Posh, watching people eat makes me want to gag. Especially eggs, which has nothing to do with watermelon, but the comment about Doritos and finger licking got me sidetracked.

  4. Juice says:

    its all confusing to me- I’m a russian cherokee, with traces if polish and austrian(as we all know) and I love watermelon- but I also know that if you feed a horse too much watermelon rind (which they LOVE), then they get mud butt. No one wants to comb shit out of horse tail for 3-4 days. Also, no one wants mud butt. God, no one wants mud butt.

  5. Juice says:

    also watermelon is the best alcohol soaking fruit. I mean if you want to lose 3 days and are all out of ether, cut a small hole in the top of a watermelon, pour a bottle of everclear into that melon, let it sit overnight then cut it open and eat. YUM!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Greg says:

      Don’t tell that to Petey Greene: “And some people have a notion to put likker in it!”

      True story: In high school, we went on a field trip into downtown Chicago to a a puppet show of The Hobbit. Why this was thought to be something 17 year olds would enjoy, I’ll never know.

      A lot of students decided that the long bus trip there would be the perfect time to pre-party, but the teacher would surely see and confiscate all liquor bottles. What to do, what to do?

      Well, we got the class diabetic to help us out and we injected vodka into oranges with a hypodermic needle. Like, a zillion oranges. It looked like we were on the way to the fucking Orange Bowl.

      It would’ve worked without a hitch had people not gotten so smashed that they decided flagrant pot-smoking was all of a sudden acceptable. Luckily, the teacher used to buy coke from the brother of one of the students, so he just told everyone to stop smoking pot and didn’t turn anyone in. I went to an interesting high school.

  6. Suniverse says:

    RE: Belgians – Have you seen In Bruges? It explains it all.

    Also, Ralph Fiennes AND Colin Farrel [I know, but trust me, after this movie, you will not care how skeevy he is].

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