I remember the first time I ever watched Jerry Springer. My brains rolled out of my ears and made a break for the door. That show was fucking ultra-stoopid and catered to the worst and basest aspects of humanity. You felt like a horrible person for watching it, and then hated yourself even more for watching it again the next day. I did this for a week before I reached my limit, and in that week I was introduced to husbands with secret boyfriends, sex addicted thirteen year olds, people scared by socks, and all kinds of other wacky shit. At least the week I can never get back had a bit of color, that’s about all I can say for it.

But there was an almost zen-like appeal to the show in its simplicity. A simple genius. You may not be interested by a kindergarten teacher, and you may not be interested in a whore (if you’re not employing her), but a kindergarten teacher that whores on the side is undeniably interesting, and Jerry Springer knew it. He’d set the stage, play the straight man, and let the tranny chips fall where they may.