The Simple Genius Of Jerry Springer

I remember the first time I ever watched Jerry Springer. My brains rolled out of my ears and made a break for the door. That show was fucking ultra-stoopid and catered to the worst and basest aspects of humanity. You felt like a horrible person for watching it, and then hated yourself even more for watching it again the next day. I did this for a week before I reached my limit, and in that week I was introduced to husbands with secret boyfriends, sex addicted thirteen year olds, people scared by socks, and all kinds of other wacky shit. At least the week I can never get back had a bit of color, that’s about all I can say for it.

But there was an almost zen-like appeal to the show in its simplicity. A simple genius. You may not be interested by a kindergarten teacher, and you may not be interested in a whore (if you’re not employing her), but a kindergarten teacher that whores on the side is undeniably interesting, and Jerry Springer knew it. He’d set the stage, play the straight man, and let the tranny chips fall where they may.

21 Responses to “The Simple Genius Of Jerry Springer”

  1. They have a wheel of absurdity. It picks the show’s theme.

    Three wheels spin within the larger wheel, and whatever lines up is the winner.

    1st tier lands on “Zombie”
    2nd lands on “Weasels”
    3rd lands on “…are having my baby”

    …should be a good show. JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!

  2. Becky says:

    Because my brother and I were unsupervised little hellions when we were little, we used to watch Jerry Springer. I can remember finding it hilarious, but being so young, I didn’t realize it was all staged. I remember thinking, “How is it even possible for people to be like this?” Then again, what else is an 8 year old going to think when a 300 lb woman rolls around in a tub of mud and oinks whenever her pimp commands. Now I just stare a little dumb founded and congratulate Jerry in my head for taking advantage of people’s idiocy for so long. Whatever – you’re banking, might as well enjoy it. I definitely need a wheel of absurdity. That is just flat out awesome.

    • Greg says:

      I discovered to my shock and amusement that the valedictorian from the class after mine in high school wound up on Jerry Springer. She was the other woman in an episode with a title like, “Get Your Own Man!” I never found out how she was induced to play that role, but it certainly was a role.

      Incidentally, for those of you who haven’t seen it, here is a fun little Jerry Springer vid:

      http://dogsondrugs.com/2011/09/28/this-this-explains-a-lot-actually/

      • Becky says:

        That’s hilarious. Nothing says intelligence like letting your self be turned into a Mexican circus side show. I found out one of the girls I graduated with was on Jerry too – in fact found out by seeing her on TV. Unlike you, I wasn’t surprised at all. This girl was a trashy drama whore from way back.

  3. Pish Posh says:

    If you go on this show you have to be a special type of stupid, and I have no pity for you.

    However, I do not like the way the show indulges our society’s most despicable – not the guests, the AUDIENCE.

    “I’m a man, Jerry.”

    The audience groans, hisses, and “eeeeews” – it’s like Greek theatre, this. And it disgusts me the way we enact this revulsion at people who are differents.

    To me this is no different than “freak shows” at a carnival. It’s shameful. Jerry Springer isn’t stupid. He’s making a quick buck off of people’s hatreds, fears, and bigotry.

    • Greg says:

      Of course it’s shameful. Of course it’s a freak show (did you see the guy in the audience standing and pointing)? And it’s horrible in every sense of the word. But still, I admire the execution. It’s crap, but well done crap.

  4. Lorca Damon says:

    Wow. I’m putting “I’ve never seen an episode of Jerry Springer” on my resume.

  5. Reanna says:

    “My brains rolled out of my ears and made a break for the door.” – LOL!

    I often wonder what evolutionary drive we (the collective human race) are feeding with this kind of stuff. And it makes me fear for our survival.

  6. brennan says:

    I love Springer, but there were three epochs of the show.

    The first was when he was trying to be Donohoe, the second was when those with a chronic need to embarrass themselves publicly came out of the woodwork and onto TV, then the later, mainly staged stuff.

    The first was interesting, the second the most fun (as it was still mostly real people) and the last, meh. Except maybe for Kung Fu Hillbilly Dave. That guy is either the best actor ever or the real deal.

    People secretly loved watching it so they could say to themselves, ‘at least I’m not that dumb / retarded / fucked up’.

    If you really want to see fucked up self delusion on TV, watch Oprah. For all it’s faults, at least Springer never took himself seriously.

    • Greg says:

      I’ve never been able to watch Oprah. I don’t know why I find her so annoying, but I just do. I think it’s the whole circus surrounding her, her beard of a boyfriend Steadman, her magazine, network, constant up and down weight issues. It’s always something.

      But I do think it’s funny when she gets embarrassed because she hasn’t done her homework and a guest turns out to be a total fraud.

  7. Vesta Vayne says:

    I had a roommate that loved Jerry Springer. He’d get high as a kite and watch it. The sad thing was that his face would actually register surprise at some of the ‘revelations’.

    • Greg says:

      If the weed is good enough, the simple genius of Jerry Springer becomes the jaw dropping complexity of Jerry Springer.

      That having been said, my Jerry Springer experience was entirely high as hell, and even I thought it was obvious.

  8. Vonny says:

    I’ve never seen the show and was watching slightly horrified, thinking the guy was probably going to punch his “true love”. Now I am hiding in embarrassment.

  9. LA Juice says:

    What amazes me is that Springer is shameless. He absolutely has no shame or remorse for what he did to us, or Phil Donahue.

  10. Since Springer now films in my hometown, I went to see it once. Greatly disappointed in the lack of trannys. On stage. They were all over the audience.

    • Greg says:

      Holy shit, so how do they pump up the audience and get them to act that way? Do they give you instructions on doing shit like standing up and pointing at the people on stage (see the end of the vid above).

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