I’ve got a challenge for you. I’m going to to give you a fifth of bourbon, a bunch of mescaline, and a big bag of high quality skunk-weed. After you’re done fucking around with all of that, I’m going to put you in a room with thirty fifth graders and your goal will be to teach them one thing over the course of seven hours. Sure, it’ll be tough at first, what with all the bats in the room and the floor turning into blood. But if you had to teach a bunch of fifth graders one single thing over the course of a whole day, you’d be able to do it, even under those conditions, wouldn’t you? Well, if you did, you’d have accomplished more in one day than my fifth grade teacher did in an entire year. Continue reading