Happy Birthday, America!

What better way to celebrate the independence of our country* than to listen to some country music? What’s more American than country music? Nothing, that’s what. So kick back and enjoy… Hey! What the fuck? What the fucking fuck?

This video, incidentally, was brought to my attention by long time friend and sporadic commenter B’Homey. One time (in college, naturally), him & I hopped into a dumpster and smoked a one hitter, just to say we had done it. That was how we rolled. (And how funny would it have been if a garbage truck had rolled up right then and we had to scramble out of there in order to avoid a trip to the dump? Three million. It would have been three million funny.)

We also once propped up a large amplifier in a window and pumped out the civil alert siren noise at top volume at 3:00 AM, scaring the shit out of an apartment building full of people who must have thought that the apocalypse was at hand. I still laugh at that one.

*If you happen to be un-American, the CIA will be with you shortly for assimilation/extermination. Sorry. Nothing personal.

20 Responses to “Happy Birthday, America!”

  1. “What better way to celebrate the independence of our country* than to listen to some country music?”

    Almost anything. You devil.

  2. Pish Posh says:

    I am in ‘Merica!!!!! Where are you? This state, is so g-damned American, people are shitting the streets red white and redneck.

  3. Pish Posh says:

    Wait a second. What in the fffffffffffff is that?

  4. Rusty says:

    If this is the direction that country music is going to go , then I’m in. That other crying farmer bullshit gets on my nerve.

    Happy drunk explosions and sunburn day.

    • Greg says:

      I loathe modern country music. There is a lot to be said for classic Americana music and country done without all the commercial trappings (Gram Parsons, for instance), but the country twang bullshit really gets on my nerves.

  5. Becky says:

    And….the gold medal winner for fusion fail.

    I love how this guy couldn’t look less interested. He can’t even keep his attention on the camera – his eyes are always moving off to the right somewhere.

    No more of this nonsense America. I’m serious.

  6. Heather says:

    Holy cow. I love how he starts off each chorus with a half-jig and then immediately returns to propping himself up on the barrel.
    And the dancing guy in the sweatsuit needs to go put on some real pants. Please, man. Put on some real pants.
    I agree with you Greg. Modern country is horrific. And I am bombarded with it here in south Texas. But REAL, old, hard-core country is awesome.

  7. Vesta Vayne says:

    I don’t consider modern country to even BE country, it’s like bad pop music.

    But New Wave Country, that’s…yeah, I don’t know what that is.

    • Greg says:

      Are you not paying attention? It’s NEW WAVE! From now on, we will all be singing country songs in German and doing sad, inept versions of the robot.

  8. brennan says:

    I thought it was wonderful, and a more perfect example of how the US is seen outside of there would be difficult to find. It only needed some cowbell.

    The songwriting is on a par with Eddie Rabbitt’s I Love A Rainy Night (or all modern rap/RNB) for inventiveness and variety.

    • Greg says:

      What it needed was a better song. And different lyrics. And a different singer. And a better video. Other than that, it was perfect.

  9. B'Homey says:

    Didn’t we also climb into your apartment’s ductwork and do a hit there? I believe the goal of that evening was to do as many one-hitters in as many odd places as possible. And I believe we won.

    • Greg says:

      Shit, I’d forgotten about that. I remember looking up to see your head protruding from the wall about 1 foot away from the ceiling and laughing my ass off. Yes, if the rules of the game award points for coughing/laughing your ass off, then I believe we did win.

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