Somebody Call 119!
Yesterday, I made a reference to the fact that the Japanese phone number for 911 is 119. I would like to point out that even though this number is literally backwards, it in no way should be construed as evidence that Japanese culture in general is backwards or fucked up. That evidence is provided by Japanese TV, which at any given moment can veer from traditional game show format into a graphic depiction of men getting kicked in the balls while scantily clad women eat sushi off of each others breasts. God, how I love Japanese TV.
Anyway, it has since come to my attention that the Japanese emergency number 119 isn’t exactly what I thought it was. 119 is used in Japan to report emergencies requiring an ambulance or the fire department, while 911 in the United States is used to report that someone didn’t make your cheeseburger the way you wanted it:
Also, in Japan, the 110 emergency phone number is used to report emergencies requiring the involvement of the police. This seems strange to us Americans, as we’re used to having one emergency number to report everything from heart attacks and fires to home invasions and the fact that, dammit, we’re just really fucking high:
To help alleviate any confusion for any of my readers that may find themselves in Japan, here is a list of the Japanese Emergency Phone Numbers.
| Emergency Number | Purpose |
| 119 | Used to report health and fire emergencies |
| 110 | Used to report emergencies requiring the involvement of the police |
| 118 | Used to report Godzilla-related emergencies |
| 117 | Used to report an emergency lack of tentacle porn |
| 116 | Used to report the fact that there are currently no emergencies |
| 115 | Used to report a Japanese television show that makes sense |
| 911 | Secret phone number used to trigger surprise attack on Pearl Harbor (rotary phones only) |
| 187772763563433911#*#1 | Used to report an overheating reactor core due to an electrical outage |
| 777 | Used to report the arrival of Robotic God Jesus |
Ok, Chief! Super Happy Fun Time Redemption, Yes? Bonzai!!!
Next time Godzilla smashes Tokyo, they should rebuild somewhere that’s not so accessible. Arizona, maybe…
I vote for the bottom of the Pacific ocean. The only thing that could make Tokyo more awesome, would be for it to be inside a large glass dome. Plus, that would make the next monster attack that much more entertaining for the rest of us.
Awesome! It’d be like Sealab 2021 + Godzilla!!
I need that robot. My husband’s birthday is next week and I haven’t gotten him anything.
I have tried to find one to buy for myself, with no luck. What I know about it is that it was a Magic 8-Ball like robot that you asked questions to, and it was sold in the 80’s. eBay comes up empty, and so far I haven’t found any other place selling it. I’ll let you know if I find one though.
Why is the God Jesus Robot holding flowers with a pink ribbon on the outside of the box (and holding a cross in real life?)
That’s false advertising. I’d be so disappointed if my God Jesus Robot didn’t come holding tacky flowers.
God Jesus is capricious and arbitrary, and we question him at our peril, Heather!
Oh how I love Japanese people and watching Japanese TV. It’s just so entertaining because it makes no sense whatsoever. I’m afraid I need a God-Jesus Robot. Somehow the thought of making it do stuff for me is thrilling.
Wonder if Japanese people abuse 119/110 as much as Americans do.
I’ve looked into it, and the God Jesus robot is one of the rarest of toys. Apparently only a couple of them still exist. This is what is known as a total fucking drag. I need my God Jesus Bot, dammit!
God Jesus Robot, why are we here
10001110101
Isn’t that a song?
1001001 SOS
1001001 In distress
The Body Electric by Rush
Rush has always been influenced by science fiction, and in this case they were influenced by an episode of the Twilight Zone written by Ray Bradbury. It is about a robot trying to break free from the rigid social order of robot society. 1001001 is the binary value of the ASCII character “I”. In other words, the robot in question has attained self-awareness and is trying to break free.
Now compare these lyrics to A-wop bop-a loo-mop, a-lop bam-boom!
This has been Rush Lyrics Explained. Come back next week when we discuss what, exactly, the prophet wrote on the studio walls.
Funny thing – that 115 is the one that has been used the least.
Used the most? 118.
When discussing the Japanese there’s only one reference to porn? These guys are the pioneer of what can get weird between a man and a woman … and an octopus, a ball of twine, an insane amount of fruit loops.
Great post as always!
If I even attempted to get into the subject of Japanese porn, this post would be 70,000 words long and get the entire site taken down for “lack of morals”. That’s how awesome Japanese porn is.
Something to think about when you’re hitting the writers block and whiskey isn’t fixing the problem.
Wonder how many call 116.