I’ve always been a big fan of the Beatles, but one thing that drives me nuts about them is the controversy surrounding their breakup. Everyone is always so quick to blame Yoko Ono for the split. On the one hand, people will hail John Lennon as a genius, but then they’ll turn right around and say that he was effectively retarded when it came to women, and couldn’t see that Yoko Ono was just tearing the Beatles apart. It never seems to occur to these people that John, Paul, George, and Ringo had just grown apart, and that there wasn’t any one reason for the split. To blame Yoko Ono is unfair. It’s unfair to Yoko Ono, it’s unfair to John Lennon, and it’s unfair to the Beatles.

Then I see this and I think, “You know what? Fuck her. Let’s blame everything on Yoko Ono. The Beatles breaking up, our economic slump, global warming, everything. ‘What’s that, officer? What happened? Well, I was driving down the road, minding my own business, when all of a sudden Yoko Ono was standing there, shrieking like a goddamn lunatic, and so I swerved to avoid her. That’s how I wound up driving into this day care. Yes, I know I’m going to be ticketed for Failure to Run Over Yoko Ono. I understand.'”

Note: Bonus points to anyone who watched that without thinking, “I bet that’s what she sounds like in bed.”