Dear Domino’s “Am I in a tunnel?” guy,

Go fuck yourself. Painfully, repeatedly, and with a Tabasco chaser. I am so sick and fucking tired of your horrible, wooden acting, I can’t even begin to describe it. Actually, I can begin to describe it: If I had, in my control, a nuclear arsenal capable of wiping all sentient life off of the surface of this planet, I would be sorely tempted to use it just to eliminate the stain on the human race that you have caused with your shitty acting. The only reason that I would not use it immediately would be for fear that a stray TV signal would leak out into the cosmos and millions of light years later would wind up psychologically maiming an innocent species of intelligent life. And so I would hold off on nuking the planet until I could perfect the technology to end the entire universe. That’s how shitty you are. Continue reading