“Dammit, none of the applicants we’ve interviewed so far are qualified for this job! Why can’t we find someone with some serious screwdriver skills who’s willing to reach the climax position?”
I once needed to get some modem settings from the manufacturer of this modem I used, and I got a guy on the phone who spoke way less intelligibly than Rakesh.
Tech Support: ‘Allo, please to be khamra sinta jalalalalaballa ooey onda fling.
Me: Uhhh… Yeah, look, can I speak with someone who speaks English?
Tech Support: Ajhyess, deese may be for to can be formee too forewe, yes?
This is probably why I can’t manage to be happy even when I am sad. I’ve never tried putting my screwdriver everywhere.
I used to put my screwdriver everywhere, and while it will make you happy even when you’re sad, eventually insurance stops paying for the penicillin.
I’m pretty sure I was speaking to Rakesh the other night when I answered the phone about 6 pm.
If he had identified himself as a hidden scientist, I might have listened to him.
I once needed to get some modem settings from the manufacturer of this modem I used, and I got a guy on the phone who spoke way less intelligibly than Rakesh.
Tech Support: ‘Allo, please to be khamra sinta jalalalalaballa ooey onda fling.
Me: Uhhh… Yeah, look, can I speak with someone who speaks English?
Tech Support: Ajhyess, deese may be for to can be formee too forewe, yes?
Me: WHAT?
Tech Support: Peese nouwyou pobwem allalalabar inta, right?
Me: Hold on a minute. I can’t understand a single thing you are saying. Can I speak to someone who speaks English?
Tech Support: Assa mee, sir.
Me: Oh, for the love of…
Tech Support: (speaking slowly) ‘Allo. My name es… Steve. I live in… Indiana.
Me: Indiana? Not India?
Tech Support: Indiana, USA.
Me: And your name is Steve.
Tech Support: Steve, yes.
Me: Tell me, Steve, what is the capital of Indiana?
Tech Support: Bahalajar onto fignoori spleesum…
Me: (click)