No foul language, or overt nudity, but this is so oddball that you really don’t want to have coworkers catch you watching it.

I know what you’re thinking right now. You’re thinking, “Greg, what is the name of this movie and where can I purchase it?” Never fear, bold reader. The name of the movie is Masked Avenger Versus Ultra-Villian in the Lair of the Naked Bikini. Naturally. And if you want a copy of it, I hope you didn’t throw out your VCR.

My mother was diagnosed with shingles, recently. For those of you who don’t know, shingles is a rash that develops on the body and often results in extreme pain on and around the effected area. The disease is actually called Herpes Zoster, which means I will be able to extract some revenge once my mom is feeling better. Continue reading

Can someone tell me why the fuck my kids can’t wear Halloween costumes to school tomorrow? I’ve asked the school, of course, and the standard answer they give you is that costumes would be a “safety issue”. Bullshit. (WARNING: IN-MY-DAY ALERT) In my day, we wore costumes to school and if anyone was wearing something that might be unsafe, they were asked to remove it. And there’s nothing to prevent schools from continuing that practice today. Continue reading

Really, dude, that couldn’t have waited?

I drive a Jeep Wrangler, which is a vehicle favored by off-road enthusiasts and people who like sitting on damp seats. I’m actually a bit of both apparently, because I had the rag-top down yesterday when we had a freak downpour while I was at the office. Anyway, I had to take my three year old to the doctor today, so I loaded him up (squish) and off I went. Continue reading

I am fucking wiped.  I had a very, very long day at the office because right as I was about to leave, we realized that our site was in the process of being attacked by some script kiddie fuckface, and we had to make sure we were fully protected.  Aside from some emails going out telling people their password had been reset, no harm done.  But it made for a long day that totally demotivated me.

So here, instead of actual original content, see just what it takes to climb Mount Everest:

At work, I often listen to music on my iPad streaming over Pandora. For those of you not familiar with Pandora, it allows you to select an artist and then creates a radio station just for you based on songs by (and similar to) the artist you selected. Better yet, you can tell Pandora if you really liked (or really disliked) the last selection, and it will learn from your input to better serve you. And Pandora is free. Well, not quite free, and that’s how I learned exactly how much of a spoiled, impatient prick I can be. Continue reading

When I was twenty-three I moved halfway across the country, from Chicago to Tucson. This was done mostly because I could, and partially because my last winter in Illinois involved having to walk across campus to take a final when the wind chill factor was 80 below zero. I knew then that I wanted to have kids at some point in my future, and having my frozen balls fall off and shatter on the pavement wasn’t going to help in that regard. So off I went. Continue reading

This is, quite possibly, the best thing on the internet. Ever. (If you’re tempted to stop watching it, hang in there. It gets going around the 1:30 mark.)

Parts 2 & 3 after the jump. Continue reading