When I was in college, I knew a guy who had chosen a truly ridiculous major. I wish that I remember what it was, but alas, time and alcohol-induced amnesia have thoroughly scrubbed that particular factoid from my brain. Suffice it to say that it was, in my opinion, a colossally useless major, the kind of major you’d pick if you were from a wealthy family and wanted to piss off your parents. “Whitaker! Comparative Queefing? Really?” A major for losers, that’s what I thought. Of course my major was getting higher than Jesus, so I shouldn’t talk. (I told my parents that I majored in Street Pharmacology. Didn’t work.)