I’ve got a lot of respect for those that serve in the military. Well, that serve in our military, by which I mean the U.S. military. A lifetime of watching testosterone-laden, jingoistic movies has pretty much convinced me that the only military that matters is the United States Armed Forces. Oh, sure, we’ve got our staunch allies: The Brits, for instance, turned out to be a swell bunch of guys once we got over their crippling speech impediment. And speaking of speech impediments, the Aussies may not have a military capable of destroying a wedding via a drone strike like ours is, but they can hold their fucking own on shore leave, and that’s almost as important. Continue reading

What better way to celebrate the independence of our country* than to listen to some country music? What’s more American than country music? Nothing, that’s what. So kick back and enjoy… Hey! What the fuck? What the fucking fuck?

This video, incidentally, was brought to my attention by long time friend and sporadic commenter B’Homey. One time (in college, naturally), him & I hopped into a dumpster and smoked a one hitter, just to say we had done it. That was how we rolled. (And how funny would it have been if a garbage truck had rolled up right then and we had to scramble out of there in order to avoid a trip to the dump? Three million. It would have been three million funny.)

We also once propped up a large amplifier in a window and pumped out the civil alert siren noise at top volume at 3:00 AM, scaring the shit out of an apartment building full of people who must have thought that the apocalypse was at hand. I still laugh at that one.

*If you happen to be un-American, the CIA will be with you shortly for assimilation/extermination. Sorry. Nothing personal.